Yesterday

  • I enjoyed an impromptu pizza picnic with my mini-me
  • My neighbor asked me, “What did you do to your eyebrows?” and I said, “I tried to wax them myself and burnt the skin off.”
  • I breathed in deep and looked up at the blue sky
  • I played Webkinz for way too long
  • I yelled at the dog.
  • I yelled at the dog a lot.
  • I experienced drop-jaw as a result of watching E.R.
  • Played Follow the Leader
  • Made a concious effort to simplify
  • Failed at concious effort to simplify

Getting really frustrated with my mood as of late… flip-flopping between enjoying my daily stuff and then being overwhelmed with my responsiblites. Usually I tackle this kind of inner struggle by structuring my whole day, trying to make order and sense and create calmness. I don’t know. Doesn’t seem to be working this time. I forced myself several times yesterday to relax my muscles, to breathe in the fresh outside air and recognize that it is, indeed, fresh and good for me. I put my daily agenda aside and had a picnic at the park with Eden and didn’t look at the clock or calculate when we should be back home. Still by the end of the day I was a gigantic ball of nerves. Walked around Meijer getting odds and ends with my eyesbrows knit together into one single line. Ugh.

Everyday I get up at 6:00, make my bed, stumble downstairs, grab a cup of ice water and sit down to the computer to work.

I thought today warranted a change. I got up at 6:00, took a warm shower, got dressed and made the bed. Walked downstairs un-Frankenstien-like, grabbed a cup of ice water and curled up in the recliner with my current book. I actually had my hair and makeup done by 9:00. It’s just a small change, but it was nice to do something different. I drove to Khols and bought a new top and a pretty string of beads.

And now the day is back to normal. I met Eden as she got off the bus sticky with sweat (her, not me) who was not crying, chatted with the neighbors, fed her lunch and went over school papers. Leaving in a few minutes for lunch with school moms, followed by a PTO work session at at the school, followed by a houseful of kids that will be here to celebrate Johnny’s birthday. We will be bringing five kids (those of you WITH five kids think this is no big deal. When you’re used to TWO kids, it’s a big deal. It makes you proud that you can pull it off.) to dinner and then back home for cake and presents and movies and a sleepover. I will fall asleep before they do, hiding in my bedroom, and let John do all the its-one AM-and-its-really-time-to-settle-down thing.

Any maybe tomorrow I’ll try to do something different again.

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